By Aurore Laborie
February 14, also known as Valentine’s Day, is the day of the year that celebrates love and friendship. You might have already seen some of its classic highlights in the glass hallway with the roses sold by the BDE, or the friendship request on Facebook from Via Con Me (from the Sundial TV) which proposes to film your lover’s reaction when reading your declaration. This year, one will have the opportunity to show some love with Fly Me to the Moon and their event ‘From Reims, With Love’ and with the Feminist Society “Love Yourself Bake Sale”.
Image: Laure Ekani// The Feminist Society
Valentine’s day is said to have come from the Western Christian Church, and more specifically from Saint Valentine. Legend says that when Emperor Claudius II of Rome ordered that soldiers could no longer marry because unmarried men make better fighters, Valentine continued to perform marriages in secret, and was sentenced to death upon the uncovering of his doings. Another version of the story shows a Valentine being sentenced to death for having helped Christians escape Rome, and on his last night in prison, sending a love letter to his lover saying “from your Valentine” which is something we still write today. Whatever the story, today, Valentine’s Day is mostly a day about love and presents, and no longer one that celebrates the death of a Saint.
Like most people, I have mixed feelings about this event. For starters, obviously being single during this day is not awesome as it is a not so discrete reminder that you are not in a relationship. In a way, I sometimes get the feeling that society is showing that we are complete only when being in a relationship as if being a couple is a lifetime goal especially for women. There is still this idea that a married woman is worth more than a 50 years old unmarried one. I find this to be untrue. Being single is and should be enough. In this case, I particularly enjoy the “love yourself” bake sale organized by the Feminist Society, because like them, I believe that loving who you are is the most important thing. Love yourself before loving anyone else. When I lived in the United States as a child, we used to hand out candy, and cute little cards to each of our classmates and tell them why we like them. It was a wonderful way to make everyone feel loved and welcomed in a classroom and I miss this ambiance. As a young adult, Valentine’s Day feels more for couples, than for other loved ones such as family and friends.
Moreover, Valentine’s Day is seen as a “commercial construct”, as stated by one of my close friends, made to incite people in buying chocolate, Teddy Bears, and many other pointless things to prove one’s love for someone. That is partly true. Valentine’s day is a great source of revenue for most commerces. It enables restaurants to be filled for the night; shopping centers will bustle with lovers trying to find the perfect gift for their significant other; and romantic comedies will be released such as the third chapter of the extremely cliché but addictive Fifty Shades of Grey. On the other hand, a friend of mine who is currently dating someone is very critical of this event, saying that she feels forced to buy something for her boyfriend because society asks her to. It is true that if she had told me that she wasn’t giving a present to her boyfriend I would’ve scrunched my eyebrows saying “but…it’s Valentine’s day!” Couples feel this urge to buy something because everyone else is doing so. She adds that to her, it is no longer a proof of love because she feels obliged to do it, and is not doing it because she wants to. It is true. I want to be able to buy something meaningful whenever I want to and give it to my significant other whenever I feel like it. There should be no specific day to show some love and to get some love.
So let’s see, is Valentine’s day such a bad idea? Let’s be honest, getting a rose from a significant other feels pretty good. There is no use to buy something insanely expensive. No one is forcing you to get something for your lover, and if he/she cannot understand that your wallet’s capacity to pay dates and gifts is limited, then maybe you shouldn’t be with that person in the first place. Valentine’s Day should be like a small note that says “hey, remember I love you <3”, and it’s ok if that note does not have a diamond ring with it or some really good chocolate. After all, a kiss should be enough.
