Once upon a time 

There were two potatoes.

God named them

Ian and Ethan. (Eye and Ea for short.)


The two potatoes were

Bestfriends, they always did 

what bestfriends do:

They rolled around

When there are no potatoes around.

Looking at the vastness of the 



Eye sighed:


Out of all those potatoes

I am bestfriends with


Ea responded:

‘I don’t like being a potato, I 

Want to be human!’


Eye was heartbroken to hear 

Ea’s response:

‘Why do you want to be human?

Humans have to

Do so much, 

They plough the 


Eat and drink and sleep

And do things’.


‘We are just –

Don’t be a human – 

Be potato!’

‘No!’ Eye said,

‘Humans only have two eyes:

They navigate forward.

We have too many eyes,

And when we roll 

The soils go into

Our eyes from all directions’.


‘It hurts, and I don’t want to hurt like

That anymore!

I want two eyes 

So that I can go and see all the 

Potato fields,

Because, I, I will 

Be the only potato that

Is not only a potato



‘But’ – Eye said – 

‘I would lose you, I

Don’t want to lose 

My bestfriend, 

The crickets and the worms 

And the horses who come 

Every now and then 

Don’t have the potato-glow 

Like you glow’. 


‘The horse 

Just looks into the

Distance and 

Digs holes 

For potatoes to fall into’.


‘You are the only cool potato 

I know. 

All the other potatoes are lame!

You will find other cool 

Potatoes to hang out with – 

I’m just a different potato,

I have different aspirations –

Unlike all the other potatoes.’

Soon, Ea asked God to transform 

Him into a human. 


God said ‘okay’.

And Ethan became a 


He has:

One nose,

Two ears, 

One mouth,

A face where 

Everything fits,

Two arms,

Two legs, and two

Sets of ten human 

Grabby and stabilising

Sticks coming out of 

His legs and arms.


Most importantly,

He has two eyes.

God told Ethan:

‘Go forth and see the world,

Beyond your potato-vision!’

Ethan said 

‘Yay’ and abandoned and

Forgot about Eye.



Harvest came.

Eye rolled around like

A potato because 

He was a potato. 

The machine came with

It’s heavy breaths

And sound that

Reminded Eye

Of the horse hooves 

That stomped on the potatoes

When he dug the holes.


Moving closer and closer,

Eye was caught in the machine 

‘Ah help me!’

Alas all the other potatoes were 

Lame so they accepted 

Their fate.

Eye rolled and rolled

Opening all his eyes 

Wide in search for an exit.

Alas the machine was big

And potato was small.

Eye’s struggle was


so he became fries.

Ethan sprinted with

His hands like wings –

He watched Naruto 

Before so

He knows how to run

Like a human.

With two pairs of eyes

He travelled beyond the


On the shore, emerged 

A weird fish.

He sees the Old Man

On the rails and ducks

To avoid seeing

Fishface to humanface.


Ethan looks beyond the 

Sea, he saw 


Sliced pieces of bread quarrelling.


‘Wow, the world is 


He thought.


Drained of carbohydrates he walked

Into a fish and chips store,

Where weird fishes are cooked.

‘Me is hungry, food in mouth!’

He attempted in human language. 

The waiter thought 

He was weird so

He didn’t give him fish

But only fries.


As Ethan crunched,

He saw the familiar potato eye 

That he once played with

In the fields.

A glaring stare – 

All his potatoness

Was gone.

‘Ah Ian!’ my best-potato-friend,

Ethan chewed and 

Spat out the 

Mashed potatoes

Paste –

The parts he swallowed

Went into his stomach and 



In the darkness

Of acidic enzymes, 

Ian let out a deep warm sigh:

‘Ethan, my best friend,

How have you been?’

Barely conscious,

He fell into a 

Deep potato dream

Where he rolled in the fields freely with

Ethan, and played until sunset

And dreamed of

A field with

Only potatoes.


I’m finally with you, 

A part of you, forever.

Transformed into carbs

Ethan burned it off

And excreted the excess.


Eye was no longer a potato

He became poop.

Forgotten forever.

Lost in digestion.

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